When you first come into the world, you are a ball of ‘love-energy’. You radiate beauty, trust, peace, wonder, satisfaction, freedom in simplicity.
You are still emanating the ‘spirit/soul energy’ which is dominant in you and you are simply absorbing all that is available to you into your ‘filter’: what is developing as your Mind.
There is also no way (re: words) for you to communicate the energy you still carry within you, what you know.
Then you start experiencing ‘conditional energy’ in the form of emotions that depend on conditions. The ‘love’ people have for each other because they are happy with them, the ‘admiration’ and/or ‘pride’ they feel towards someone because they did something ‘good’, the ’emotional dependency’ or ‘attachment’ they have towards someone because of the person’s status in their life – brother, wife, sister, husband, child, mother, father, friend, etc which only serves to enable more dependency to fill a void that cannot be filled by anyone else, the ‘jealousy’ felt because one does not get what one feels they need from someone else, the ‘possessiveness’ because one believes another person belongs to them alone, and on and on.
A child then learns to associate love with external circumstances/standards and doing ‘what’s right’ by the people in your life.
Until someday, you realise that Love is compassion, and compassion is empathy, understanding, acceptance. You know who people are, you understand where they are coming from or where they are in their life and you accept their truth as theirs without condemning them for it, even when it is against yours.
You realise that Love is not sacrifice, compromise, obedience, fulfilling expectations of yourself based on external standards or expectations of others, sense of duty or responsibility, emotions/emotional, control/controlling, or any of the things you began learning that it is besides what you are from within. Love doesn’t seek completion. It is whole on its own.
You realise that you cannot truly love another until you connect with your Spirit (therefore, loving yourself first) and you can only love from the place of Spirit, not from the mind or with ‘mental emotions’. Love can only be from the peace and wisdom that only Spirit gives, not as the world gives.
You also realise that Love is Love. There is no special kind of love for a wife, brother, husband, mother, child, etc and any ‘special-ness‘ to what one calls ‘love’ is simply – at best – attachment to the status of the person in their life or their physical relationship AND at worst, an emotional dependency/ condition based on this status or relationship.
This is why someone will ‘love’, say, a husband more than a friend or a sister more than a neighbour. It isn’t love, it is emotional attachment. Love does not discriminate. It is nature. It is an unconditional energy. It does not treat one person better or worse, just like rain does not choose to fall on ‘good people’ and not on ‘bad people’. Just like air does not choose to be available to someone because of friendship – and not to another because of lack of friendship. Just like the sun shines on all without emotional bias.
From this perspective, you will realise that you either love or you don’t but it’s okay if you are not there yet. We are all works in progress.
When you get here, the topic of love is no longer that of a fairy tale to you or a one-day event or about finding someone to ‘love’ (they are everywhere) and to love you back, which is actually a search for someone to attach to, a search for the connection that can only be found within or a search to fulfill expectations and belong.
It is no longer about what you can do for others or what they can do for you, to show love.
You’ll become love anywhere you go, whether the recipient notices or not.
At some point when Love takes over you, you will no longer condemn your parents/family/friends for what they did or didn’t do, neither will you accept their projections onto you or their expectations of you. You simply view them from a place of love and know that it is not your task to intentionally change anybody or anything outside of you but to radiate the truth of what you are from within. To speak/live this truth without malice, confrontation or condemnation. To let this truth shine brightly and let the rays fall where they may – regardless of how well or not it is received.
You only take responsibility for your actions and emotions. Others’ actions and emotions are for them. You cannot intentionally save anyone from themselves – their emotions or fears, worries or beliefs. You may be used as a channel/tool for this but the true work lies with them.
You realise that you are not here to love people into submission or obedience or change. There is no agenda in love. You love. Full stop.
You set yourself and others free from expectations and requirement of fulfilling conditions – no matter how well-intentioned.
At this point, some people may accuse you of not being loving because you are no longer ‘serving them’ or being/doing what they believe you should. You naturally gravitate towards realness and away from what isn’t – whether family, friends, etc – not in a rebellious or punishing way, not for anybody’s discomfort but to continually live in freedom and peace. Nothing else will matter to you.
Even though you can understand how this life you are living will affect others’ emotions negatively, you know you are not responsible for their feelings by omission.
There is a difference between hurting people by saying hateful, condemning words or physically punching a person, etc AND living a life that is true to your path and others feeling hurt by what you are no longer doing for them or being to them that they need/expect/require you to be or do.
The former is your problem to deal with. That latter is theirs to deal with.
This is not to say that family and friends are bad and you are good. It is not about proclaiming one as better than the other but simply stating that there may be a time when there will be a difference between you and your family and friends. Still, it doesn’t mean it must be forever. Things change. One will walk towards the path that resonates more in vibration. Not good, not bad.
A LITTLE NOTE ABOUT THE FEATURED IMAGE: The first distinct thought after writing this post and about to put featured image was “Love! Oh Love!”
The second thought was “Lionel Richie has a song titled ‘Love, Oh Love’.”
In succession, the 3rd thought was “Put Lionel Richie as the featured image and add the words to it”. So, this little image was born.
After the mind took over and gave many reasons for wanting to remove it, the image was replaced twice but the prompting (it had become that by then) persisted. Hence, why you see it now.
This is the only significance Lionel Richie has to this post, from my perspective but I am sure it signifies something more important to someone else reading this. It’s not an accident.